Online Wedding RSVP Etiquette

The jury is still out on online wedding RSVP etiquette. Here at RSVPify, we know that better than anyone. Brides and grooms-to-be often inquire if asking their guests to RSVP online is poor wedding etiquette. In short, you’ll find opinions that run the gamut — but the fact is that requesting guests to RSVP online for a wedding is becoming increasingly popular, and is a great way to save time, save money, save the planet and help ensure the accuracy of your head count and guest’s preferences.

Why is setting up an online RSVP for your wedding a good idea?

Soon-to-be-weds often opt to setup an RSVP website for their wedding for a number of reasons — but these reasons primarily boil down to time, money, and ease of use.  For some, saving some trees is a nice added bonus.

Online wedding RSVPs save you the cost of printing RSVP inserts and allow you to also forego the cost of return envelopes and stamps.  These days, submitting an online RSVP is often easier and faster for your guests — but the time-saving benefits to you, the wedding planner, are perhaps one of the biggest benefits of online RSVPs.  Think of the many hours you will save in checking and re-checking guest counts and keeping your guest list up-to-date.  It’s also easy to make a mistake in your final counts, and online RSVPs virtually eliminate that possible.  Your Aunt Jenn is assured that she will get the vegetarian entree that she asked for.

What’s wrong with asking guests to RSVP online?

That depends on who you talk to — and most people would respond ‘Nothing!’  One primary detractor from taking the route of requesting RSVPs online, though, is the potential for older generations to have difficulty completing their online reservations.  As online RSVP websites become better-designed and easier to use, this is becoming less-and-less of a concern.  Some couples opt to include a phone number as a second RSVP option or include an RSVP insert with the invitations sent to some of their older guests.

What else should I consider before deciding whether or not to ask my guests to RSVP online?

We also thought it best to scour the many wedding forums out there where the questions of online wedding RSVP etiquette is being actively best — and bring you thoughts from real brides and grooms-to-be.

"I wouldn't call online RSVPs tacky, but I do think the decision of whether or not to take the online or paper route depends on how formal your wedding is planned to be and who's on your guest list. If you are planning a very traditional wedding, online RSVPs might be a little too casual. If most of your guests are younger, that's also a big consideration as they'll likely find it easier than 'snail mail.'"
"I've attended a fair number of weddings in the last few years, and most of them included RSVP inserts with their invitations for the purpose of mailing back. Lately, though, a handful of my friends have been opting for online RSVPs. Most of them have also provided a postcard (or at least a phone number) for their grandparents and older aunts and uncles to be able to mail back if they weren't comfortable with the internet RSVP."
"Some of my friends have done online RSVPs as part of their effort 'go GREEN' with their wedding wherever possible. I'm sure it's also a matter of time and saving some money, too. If the cost savings help you spring for such things as an open bar, it would be almost criminal not to take the online RSVP route."
"There's less room for error with online RSVPs. Some people appear baffled by RSVP cards, and write in some pretty crazy things (or try to invite half their friends to your wedding). Counting RSVPs as they come in can also get cumbersome..."

Decide that online wedding RSVPs might be for you? Well, whether you’re considering taking the online route or have decided on traditional paper RSVPs, next steps are to consider how you’re going to word your RSVP.  Just like your invitations, your RSVP can be uniquely you, and reflect the spirit of your wedding and the personalities of the bride and groom.

One thought on “Online Wedding RSVP Etiquette

  1. Thanks for taking the time to pull together from all of these sources. I really think that’s it’s a personal decision whether or not you want to do an online RSVP. Anyone who calls doing so “tacky” is probably a bit “old school” in my humble opinion. As this is my second marriage, I am very much over collecting paper RSVPs and trying to track down anyone who didn’t bother mailing it back. I’m hoping that with RSVPify. this process will be much easier and I won’t have to update a spreadsheet manually every time a new RSVP comes in.

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